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What Every Body is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People PDF, ePub eBook

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What Every Body is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People

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What Every Body is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People PDF, ePub eBook He says that's his best offer. Is it? She says she agrees. Does she? The interview went great—or did it? He said he'd never do it again. But he did. Read this book and send your nonverbal intelligence soaring. Joe Navarro, a former FBI counterintelligence officer and a recognized expert on nonverbal behavior, explains how to "speed-read" people: decode sentiments and behaviors He says that's his best offer. Is it? She says she agrees. Does she? The interview went great—or did it? He said he'd never do it again. But he did. Read this book and send your nonverbal intelligence soaring. Joe Navarro, a former FBI counterintelligence officer and a recognized expert on nonverbal behavior, explains how to "speed-read" people: decode sentiments and behaviors, avoid hidden pitfalls, and look for deceptive behaviors. You'll also learn how your body language can influence what your boss, family, friends, and strangers think of you. You will discover: The ancient survival instincts that drive body language Why the face is the least likely place to gauge a person's true feelings What thumbs, feet, and eyelids reveal about moods and motives The most powerful behaviors that reveal our confidence and true sentiments Simple nonverbals that instantly establish trust Simple nonverbals that instantly communicate authority Filled with examples from Navarro's professional experience, this definitive book offers a powerful new way to navigate your world.

30 review for What Every Body is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People

  1. 5 out of 5

    Chrissie

    OK, I have finished it, and I am glad, although I feel bad because I cannot point out WHY it was not fun to read. It is detailed and absolutely correct, but it lacks spark. It reads like a text book. There is nothing at all wrong with this book, except that it is not fun to read. The author is clearly capable, and a kind and thoughtful person, but his writing skills are too didactic for my taste. I easily read body language. All that is pointed out seems very obvious to me. That which is pointed OK, I have finished it, and I am glad, although I feel bad because I cannot point out WHY it was not fun to read. It is detailed and absolutely correct, but it lacks spark. It reads like a text book. There is nothing at all wrong with this book, except that it is not fun to read. The author is clearly capable, and a kind and thoughtful person, but his writing skills are too didactic for my taste. I easily read body language. All that is pointed out seems very obvious to me. That which is pointed out are things you will recognize and do not dispute but perhaps you would not think of them until you see then listed there on the pages. And listed they are. Every detail of body language from your hands and arms and feet and torso and eyes and facial expressions and ......in fact every part of the body is covered. No much is surprising. The author is careful to warn against rapid assessments; he carefully stresses one must not jump to conclusions. He is so careful it gets kind of boring. But how can I criticize careful accurate text?! It IS repetitive. Here is a question. Aren't some people just plain better at reading body language than others? If you are not adept at it will you become proficient by reading this book? Better perhaps, but you have to have the feeling in your bones. That is what I think. To put together all the elements and weigh them against each other you have to have a knack for it, and no book can give you that. OK, you can perhaps start with this book..... if it doesn't put you to sleep. The narration by Paul Costanzo is equally accurate and clear as the text. But neither does it excite. If you want to know all the details of what every body part is saying when you move this way or that, read this book, but I suggest you read it slowly, chapter by chapter with perhaps another book in between. I feel like a creep giving it only two stars but for me the book just felt OK. Fun, it wasn't. (The audiobook has accompanying PDF files that provide illustrations which clarify the text.)

  2. 5 out of 5

    La-Lionne

    ***2 grade school level stars*** I'm not giving this book two stars because it was bad. The book has a lot of interesting tuff about body language... For a grade schooler! J. Navarro's observations are good and on point, but they are basic. This book should've been called "Body Language For Dummies" I've always been fascinated by body language, being able to see what people aren't telling. Words may lie, but body cannot. It's like a reflex that you cannot control. I'm sure there are people that ar ***2 grade school level stars*** I'm not giving this book two stars because it was bad. The book has a lot of interesting tuff about body language... For a grade schooler! J. Navarro's observations are good and on point, but they are basic. This book should've been called "Body Language For Dummies" I've always been fascinated by body language, being able to see what people aren't telling. Words may lie, but body cannot. It's like a reflex that you cannot control. I'm sure there are people that are able to lie through their teeth, make all the right gestures, hold their arms just right, or cross their legs in a matter that doesn't show that they are uncomfortable, unsure, threatened or insecure, while talking to someone. But these sort of people are few and far in-between. When I saw that on the book cover it said "An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People", I thought the author is going to give us examples from his days in FBI. Unfortunately, most of the situations he used were from his encounters with his family, from his seminars and just general descriptions of a body language. That was quite disappointing. Also, the fact that he used his own (and his friends/colleague's?) acted out pictures to highlight his points, made this book that less interesting. The pictures seemed fake and quite cartoonish. Do I really need to see a picture of a woman finger-pointing, to understand that it's an offensive gesture? For exampe: Or to see a picture of a person squinting, to understand that a person you are talking to/with thinks that you are full off it. That's what I mean by "grade school knowledge of body language". On the book cover it says that this book is an "international bestseller", I don't get why. I would've preferred if he, the author, had invited a couple of volunteers for an interview, with a purpose of reading and capturing their body responses to his questions, since he can't use the material from his days in FBI. That would've been the next best thing :). I also didn't appreciate his advice on how to dress to impress. He might be an expert (how big of an expert he is on that is yet to be determined) on reading people, but fashion guru he is not. A person might not be able to control their body language, but choosing clothes depends on few different factors, such as money, mood and/or taste (which is constantly changing). Author trying to give an advice on how to dress to appeal (or not) too certain groups of people is quite funny and useless. Clothing has nothing to do with a body language. I'm sure clothing tells a lot about a person. But in this book, it was irrelevant. It was clear, when he started to talk about how to dress, that he was diving into a territory he wasn't familiar with and ended up sounding silly. "When choosing your wardrobe and accessories, always remain cognizant of the message others may perceive from your dress. Also consider that although you may deliberately want to use your attire to send a signal to one person or a group of people at a specific time and place, you may have to pass a lot of other people who are not as receptive to your message along the way!" So basically what he's saying is that there is no way to pleasing everybody (DUH!), that he has no answer to how dress to "correctly" appeal to people in certain situations. Why talk about it in the book at all? It felt like the author was simply trying to fill up the book space. Funny thing: as I was writing this review, I had the book beside my Mac, for quotes, and noticed one funny thing about the book cover. In the book the author says that crossing the legs indicates that person is comfortable with the one s/he talking with (spread legs indicates dominance, who wants that?), that crossing legs in a relaxed manner indicates comfort. But, if you put your ankle on your knee, it says that you are trying to create a barrier between you and a person you're talking to/with. Although on the cover the author's arms are wide open, shoulders down, head to the side, feet are directed at the one looking at the cover, and it gives you the vibe that you are welcome to have a friendly chat with him, his ankle is on his knee. This made me think that although he wants to look like he is confidant, relaxed and open, the ankle on the knee indicates that he is creating a protective barrier between him and a reader. Why? He is an Ex-FBI. He should be confidant with what he's putting out to the world. I can't help but think that after all the "secrets" he revealed, tips that he gave on how to read people, he himself, subconsciously chose a picture to be used on the book cover, which revealed him being insecure about his own work? It gave me "I really hope you like it" sort of vibe. That made me wonder how good of FBI agent he was. If his book cover is anything to go by...

  3. 5 out of 5

    Lolly K Dandeneau

    This was informative, much like other 'non-verbal intelligence books are. What I particularly enjoyed about Joe Navarro's teaching is that the body language itself is not enough to assume a particular emotion. A lot of other books will say, for example, that if you shake your foot a lot you're nervous. But some people are foot shakers or just nervous by nature. With such people they are likely to either shake more violently or simply stop when nervous. So you see, while body language is telling This was informative, much like other 'non-verbal intelligence books are. What I particularly enjoyed about Joe Navarro's teaching is that the body language itself is not enough to assume a particular emotion. A lot of other books will say, for example, that if you shake your foot a lot you're nervous. But some people are foot shakers or just nervous by nature. With such people they are likely to either shake more violently or simply stop when nervous. So you see, while body language is telling you must also add other important clues up to come to a conclusion. You can't say all people who have a stern look are stern. Some people get nervous anyway when being accused of lying and may exhibit nervous actions. His book is one of the best when it comes to this subject. Sure, not everyone would be easy to read but since reading this book I have been noticing more what certain body language is saying, and honestly it tends to run on the side of true. It's almost laughable how easy the majority of us are to read. Very informative.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Narges Salmanizadeh

    Let me tell you something, even though this book is such a great eye opening book for having more successful conversations with ppl whom you don't know, it can take away your peace. The way this book push you to concentrate more on the body language of people than their speech is somehow fluster. But its great it's worth it and im gonna use it a lot in my life

  5. 5 out of 5

    Sean

    It would be really, really hard to get me to give a book like this more than three stars, because what I want from it isn't what most readers want. I want not just the tricks, the ideas, the things to watch for, but also the *proof*. It's got more citations than I'd have expected, so that's good. But very rarely does the author say "...and we know this because of this particular experiment" or "...because of this anthropological study." I don't know if the interpretations the book gives of differ It would be really, really hard to get me to give a book like this more than three stars, because what I want from it isn't what most readers want. I want not just the tricks, the ideas, the things to watch for, but also the *proof*. It's got more citations than I'd have expected, so that's good. But very rarely does the author say "...and we know this because of this particular experiment" or "...because of this anthropological study." I don't know if the interpretations the book gives of different things are accurate or not - but by and large I don't care; the real value for me was not in knowing *what* things mean, but in developing a vocabulary with which to *think* about how people place themselves. In that regard, I've enjoyed the book a great deal.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Robyn Blaber

    When I picked up this book I was quite full of scepticism. I know how hard it is to detect deception and I expected that this book was going to tell me 50 ways to spot a liar from various tells. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the author had a good grounding of the science behind body language and tons of field work (unlike the TSA, who with 15 minutes of training, can spot a terrorist just by looking at them). What the book does do is give you dozens and dozens of clues as to how a perso When I picked up this book I was quite full of scepticism. I know how hard it is to detect deception and I expected that this book was going to tell me 50 ways to spot a liar from various tells. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the author had a good grounding of the science behind body language and tons of field work (unlike the TSA, who with 15 minutes of training, can spot a terrorist just by looking at them). What the book does do is give you dozens and dozens of clues as to how a person is feeling at any given time. If what they are saying does not match their body language, this can be a tip that the person is being deceptive. Usually, all we can discover from these clues is that the person being observed is enduring stress, or happiness, fear, or some other emotion that might be missing from verbal communication. What the book doesn't tell you is that to really make use of the information, one would have to read, re-read, study and practice with the book for a very long time to make the best use of this information. Since reading it, I've watched for some clues mentioned in the book in my personal relationships and found that... 1) they are really hard to observe without being noticed as looking for them... and 2) once observed, you need a lookup table to remember what they mean. Overall, I give the book high marks due to the professional nature of the writing and the admission that lie detection is in fact nearly impossible despite non-verbal clues and that might indicate the possibility of deception. For my own purposes, I think I'll re-read this book in a few months to bolster what I have learned. I imagine that understanding these non-verbal gestures could go a long way to aiding my personal communications for the rest of my life.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Corinna

    Snatched this one up during an Audible sale hopeful that it would be beneficial for work. I think it was worth the few dollars I spent during the sale, but I'm also glad I didn't spend a full credit on it. I found it more of a reminder to slow down and read body language as opposed to being a treasure trove of new insights. Still, some things were helpful, particularly the chapter on foot language. I would rate this book a PG for some reference to violent crime.

  8. 5 out of 5

    ☘Misericordia☘ ~ The Serendipity Aegis ~ ⚡ϟ⚡ϟ⚡⛈ ✺❂❤❣

    Great tips and overall a very interesting read. What I like most is the author's attempt to explain the whys for all the little tidbits he's mentioning here.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Supreeth

    NO SHIT SHERLOCK

  10. 5 out of 5

    Nikki Sex

    This is an excellent must read if you're an author. I recommend the hard copy vs ereader however, because you get pictures in the actual book. This book illustrates what people do with their body when they are afraid, nervous, happy...whatever. Insightful read if that kind of thing interests you, but particularly useful as an author to describe a scene.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Readosaurus

    If she keeps playing with her hair it means she fancies you. If they cross their arms it means they don't. Everyone is familiar with the concept of body language as expressed by simplistic, quasi-scientific rules such as these. One of the things I liked most about Navarro's book is that it eschews basic X means Y type formulations and attempts to locate the art of reading body language in a broader, richer context that any matter relating to the highly complex matter of human psychology clearly If she keeps playing with her hair it means she fancies you. If they cross their arms it means they don't. Everyone is familiar with the concept of body language as expressed by simplistic, quasi-scientific rules such as these. One of the things I liked most about Navarro's book is that it eschews basic X means Y type formulations and attempts to locate the art of reading body language in a broader, richer context that any matter relating to the highly complex matter of human psychology clearly deserves. Navarro himself was an FBI expert on reading body language, using his skills in the field and latterly to teach agents and law enforcement officers about the subject. Interestingly, he links the early development of his skills to his experience as a child; he was the son of an immigrant family who spoke no English. In this environment, he says, you quickly learn a lot about body language! Navarro appears decidedly well versed in the academic literature of his field, the text is well referenced and the list of further reading is extensive. Throughout one has a sense of a man immersed in his chosen profession. Before we move through a survey of the different types of 'language' each part the body may be 'speaking' it is worthwhile to highlight a few general points Navarro is a pains to make plain. He counsels a cautious, reasoned approach. First, scientific research in the field is conclusive: There is no 'Pinocchio Effect' akin to the statements made in the first two sentences. Even the most skilled professional can only hope for a success rate of c.60% and will make lots of mistakes. Indeed, even the famous polygraph is only 60-80% accurate depending on the operator. Inevitably, this will cause some people to cry foul. Here I see considerable similarities to the fund management industry; is it all just luck? I suppose know one truly knows but I am prepared to accept there is skill in both. One thing is certain, neither are sciences! Given this background, Navarro suggests we must begin by observing what a persons normal, comfortable behaviour looks like; establishing a control. A large part of this is asking neutral questions, in a neutral tone whilst using neutral body language yourself. Also, sufficient time must be left between questions to allow for full observation. This is probably a lot harder than it might initially seem. One of the things that made me feel that there might be some truth to the claims made in this book was the fact that I began to notice that I was exhibiting some of the traits identified in exactly the kind of situations described without realising it! Once a 'control' of normal behaviour has been established we might move on to ask harder questions or broach more uncomfortable topics thus contrasting comfortable body behaviour with uncomfortable body behaviour. Alongside this, one should try to notice if there is synchrony between verbal and non-verbal behaviour. For example, if a person is saying they really like someone but all their body language is saying the polar opposite. One should also pay close attention to the grouping of signs given the inherent uncertainty in interpretation. Lastly, one must pay close attention to emphasis. When someone is making a strongly declarative statement to which they should be passionately committed, like "you have to believe me I didn't do it", you should look for a similarly emphatic display from the body. The main point here though, to me, is "there is no single behaviour that is indicative of deception"! Now, what sort of things can we look for: Isopraxism, or mirroring behaviour, is a very strong sign of comfort as is leaning in or angling of the torso towards your conversational partner. Eyes and eyebrows may slightly open or raise on the appearance of someone we like whereas they may slightly narrow for someone we dislike Pursed lips are almost always a sign of stress Nasal dilation or flaring of the nostrils is a preparation for action as it allows more oxygen to be taken into the muscles - this can mean persons limbic brain (animal part of the brain associated with non-verbal, unconscious movements as opposed to the neo-cortex which is associated with speech &c.) is readying itself for a fight or defence Fight or flight is actually FREEZE-FIGHT-FLIGHT: in the first instance of danger humans, like many other animals, freeze to limit danger. This can be displayed as a lack of movement, direction of eyes downward, shoulders hunched up, head down like the person is trying to hide. Flight is rarely physical with humans today and is usually expressed as blocking like putting one's hands over one's face, closing eyes, rubbing eyes, placing something in one's lap or in front of themselves, leaning away, turning feet to the exit or placing one's heel down with the toes up like they're about to start a race. Fight, again, is rarely physical, but is the process of turning fear to rage and limits the ability to think clearly. Associated physical behaviour may be puffing out one's chest, making oneself bigger, invading other's space and using verbal abuse When feeling uncomfortable, stressed or insecure about a question or topic of discussion people will often use pacifying movements to offset these feelings. Examples include touching, especially the neck but can be face and legs too, or stroking, rubbing cheeks and lips from the inside with the tongue, exhaling slowly with puffed out cheeks, chewing gum faster, smoking more. Men prefer to touch the face or neck, which contains a nerve for slowing the heart rate, whereas women prefer to play with jewellery, clothing, arms, hair. Other signs associated with this type of behaviour are massaging earlobes, licking lips, stroking thighs with palms down, ventilating neck by moving collar or tossing hair Feet and legs tell us the most from a body language perspective and this may be because of their importance in hunting behaviour Jiggly, bouncing or swinging feet can be associated with elation but can also be impatience or restlessness so it is important to look for groupings, synchrony and emphasis alongside this Ordinarily people talk toe to toe so if one person has L-shaped feet or their feet point away from the person towards the door this can mean they want to leave When you interrupt a conversation between others and their feet don't turn towards you with their torso to greet you then they may not want you to join them Both hands on knees, usually with a move forward or a lean, means that the person wants to leave Bouncing on balls of feet, standing on tip toes and pointing one foot to the ceiling when sitting are associated with happiness or receiving good news Increasingly wide splaying of legs can indicate an increasing level of unhappiness and is an attempt to claim more territory Crossed legs is a sign of comfort and confidence and may point in the direction of the person most favoured. Crossing away, forming a barrier with the upper leg, is a negative behaviour whereas crossing towards, pointing to the other person with the upper knee, is a positive sign Women dangling shoes of their toes is a sign of relaxation After you meet someone if you take a step backwards they will usually - 1) step towards you - +ive 2) stay put - neutral 3) step back themselves -ive Jiggling feet is quite a neutral behaviour but can turn to kicking or freezing when questions / topics become unpleasant or stressful Attempts to lock ankles, especially for men as many women wearing skirts do it anyway, or hide feet behind chair legs or under the chair are defensive posture Lot of chattering doesn't mean innocence and silence doesn't imply guilt; these are both neutral when take in isolation Hands up when making statements mean, 'please, I beg you to believe me' whereas hands down is a much more assertive behaviour. People telling the truth have no need to beg. TORSO Will lean away from what it finds unpleasant as torso contains lots of vital organs People who dislike each other will only turn towards each other with their heads when seated in the back seat of a car Buttoning ones jacket, folding arms or blocking with other objects are signs of discomfort and defence Men fiddling with watches, cufflinks and tie are all associated with blocking Coldness and hugging of pillows when others feel normal temperature can be a sign of stress or discomfort Torso splaying is a territorial display of disrespect - like a slouching, lounging teenager being bollocked Puffing out of the chest, heavier inhalations and disrobing are all signs of fight / flight mechanisms Partial shoulder shrugs, where one shoulder goes higher than the other or shoulders don't fully go up, indicate lack of commitment to what is being said by the shrugger. Full shrugs are a sign of confidence and are a 'gravity defying behaviour' (arms up, jumping, bouncing feet) which are almost always positive / comfortable / happy Rising shoulder and lowering of neck are an attempt to hide and are associated with negative thoughts and moods ARMS Arm waving is a sign of elation whereas sinking arms are a sign that things are going against us - this is very visible in sport Crossed arms, especially restrained arms where the hand grips the bicep, and freezing of arm movement can be a sign of anxiety and attempts not to be noticed. Abused children often freeze in an attempt of go unnoticed and avoid abuse. When people are doing something they shouldn't like stealing they also tend to restrict arm movement and look around a lot more than usual. Arms behind one's back is a sign that you perceive yourself to be higher status than those around you. It is saying, don't touch me or come near me! Reaching for physical contact, like a handshake or a hug, which is not reciprocated is highly unpleasant for humans In meetings when people spread out their arms and papers it is a show of power and confidence whereas people wishing to go unnoticed or with low confidence will often keep their hands in their laps and their elbows below their waist Arms akimbo is a territorial display of dominance and an authoritative pose indicating standing one's ground, a position of authority but less so if the thumbs point forward - which makes it more inquisitive and concerned rather than dominant Hands interlaced behind the head means I'm in charge and is also indicative of confidence or dominance Closeness of hands and arms when sitting face to face with someone indicates comfort and confidence and vice-versa Touching between the elbow and the shoulder is a way of establishing rapport and saying, "We're OK" Hugging is a great way of displaying care and affection HANDS People like to be able to see hands when you are talking as it engenders trust, use them to express what you're talking about However, pointing and snapping fingers are aggressive, domineering behaviours and it's better to gesticulate using an open palm Sweaty palms don't indicate anything Shaking hands can indicate both joy and stress and can also result from Parkinson's, injuries and alcoholism so this sign needs to be understood in context Steepling is a high confidence indicator whereas interlocking and wringing is associated with stress or concern. Cupping is a higher confidence hand position. Pointing of the thumbs upwards, when grabbing lapels or collars, is a high confidence sign as is sticking hands in pockets with thumbs sticking out. Equally disappearance of thumbs and hiding them is a low confidence behaviour Interlacing of fingers tends to be a low confidence behaviour unless the thumbs point upwards Thumbs in belt loops with fingers pointing down is called genital framing and is a high confidence display of sexual virility Interlocking fingers accompanied by rubbing or wringing is a high stress indicator FACE Unpleasant or negative emotions cause tension and result in clenched jaw, flared nostrils, fixed eyes, rigid, un-tilting head position, pursed lips and disappearing or squinting eyes, quivering lips, furrow lines on the forehead. Positive emotions tend to elicit the opposite Dilated pupils are associated with positive emotions and surprise whereas constricted pupils are usually associated with negative emotions as the eyes are trying to bring things into sharper focus because of a perceived danger or unpleasantness Raised eyebrows are a gravity defying behaviour associated with confidence and happiness whereas lowered brows are associated with negative thoughts Hands in front of the eyes, touching the eyes or delayed opening and tight clenching shut are all associated with blocking negative or unwelcome thoughts People look away to clarify thoughts without the distraction of a person's face so this is neutral An increase in the rate at which we blink is associated with stress Looking askance conveys scepticism about the topic under discussion or the veracity of what is being said Fake smiling doesn't involve the eyes and usually the mouth moves sideways rather than upwards. A real smile usually involves upward movement of the mouth as well as broadening and involves the eyes Increasingly disappearing lips indicate stress or disagreement especially so when the corners point downwards Puckered lips show disagreement and consideration of alternatives Sneers indicate an attitude of, 'I know more than you do' and a disrespect for the knowledge or assessment of the other person Lip licking is a pacifying behaviour. Sticking one's tongue out between the teeth with no contact with the lips can mean a variety of things like, 'I got caught', 'I screwed up', 'I'm naughty' and 'I got away with something'. It is usually displayed briefly. Nail biting is an insecure pacifying behaviour Faces associated with bad tastes or unpleasant food like mini snarls and nose crinkles indicate displeasure and can be very fleetingly displayed Holding one's chin and nose high shows positivity and vice versa Having completed this brief survey of some of the main points, Navarro also suggests that if the signs are mixed then one should always side with the negative indicator as negative feelings are expressed more strongly than positive. He also suggests that if one has trouble interpreting a certain behaviour then a useful approach is to do it oneself and see how it makes you feel. Overall, I found this a useful and considered introduction to the subject. In places the style is quite overbearingly that of a person who idealises law enforcement, "that'll be the last time he tries something like that" etc., but this is to be expect from a career law man. One less forgivable aspect of the text, to my mind, is the infuriating habit of placing exemplary stories in shaded boxes and separating them from the text. If the example is illuminating then it deserves to be in the text proper, if not it deserves to be omitted. It's unclear when the reader should interrupt a sentence to read them, as they sometimes appear, or whether we should wait until the end of the book to review them as a distinct collection of narratives! To me, it represents wrongheaded editing and confronts the reader with a jarring reading experience. Otherwise, it was an interesting read with a couple of stylistic shortcomings.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Patrick

    To explain why this book wasn't really what I was hoping for, it would help to explain what I was hoping for: I am mildly autistic, and I have difficulty picking up on nonverbal social cues, particularly in informal environments like casual conversation, friendship, and dating. So I've been looking for resources on identifying nonverbal behaviors in these sorts of circumstances: Is he interested in what I'm saying, or bored and faking a smile? Is she attracted to me, or just being polite? Do the To explain why this book wasn't really what I was hoping for, it would help to explain what I was hoping for: I am mildly autistic, and I have difficulty picking up on nonverbal social cues, particularly in informal environments like casual conversation, friendship, and dating. So I've been looking for resources on identifying nonverbal behaviors in these sorts of circumstances: Is he interested in what I'm saying, or bored and faking a smile? Is she attracted to me, or just being polite? Do they want to be my friends, or would they rather be somewhere else right now? Navarro's book is not that, unfortunately. He is a former FBI interrogator, and so his perspective on nonverbal behavior is focused around issues of dominance and submission, territory, anxiety, deception. And I have no doubt that the information is accurate and tremendously useful in interrogations. It would also be useful in other conflict scenarios, like court cases and Congressional hearings. It has certain applications in job interviews and business meetings. But when it comes to dating, which is really what I was looking for, there's virtually nothing. Just a few tidbits here and there about what confidence looks like, how to tell a genuine smile from a fake one. These tidbits aren't useless, but nor are they what I really need—which is to understand what exactly I've been missing and misunderstanding in one-on-one contact for years. It would also have been helpful to learn how to control these signals better, because I know that one of the symptoms of depression is that you tend to send out subconscious rejection signals to everyone around you. I'm sure I am doing this without being aware of it, and I would like to stop—but while Navarro talks about recognizing the signals, he doesn't talk about controlling them, and for the most part seems to think that control is difficult or impossible. (This leaves me feeling, well, a little sad.)

  13. 4 out of 5

    Kris

    Women will touch their neck when nervous. Men will spread their legs when feeling territorial. People will cross their legs when they’re comfortable. Standing arms akimbo shows dominance. Sweaty palms indicate stress. Be careful not to read someone’s body language as lying, when really they’re just nervous. There. Now I’ve saved you the trouble of reading this book.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Christopher Ryan

    Every activist, counter-cultural figure, and free-thinker should read this book, if only to know how organizations like the FBI operate. There is a lot of very intuitive stuff in here, which Navarro will help you recognize, and a lot of it is useful -- but it also implies a lot of stereotyping and generalization. Which is funny, since my instinct was defensiveness every time I came across a picture of Navarro in his baggy suit and cold, piercing eyes. Even more so when I looked at the pictures o Every activist, counter-cultural figure, and free-thinker should read this book, if only to know how organizations like the FBI operate. There is a lot of very intuitive stuff in here, which Navarro will help you recognize, and a lot of it is useful -- but it also implies a lot of stereotyping and generalization. Which is funny, since my instinct was defensiveness every time I came across a picture of Navarro in his baggy suit and cold, piercing eyes. Even more so when I looked at the pictures of the female model, who should never have been included in this book. Every pose is ridiculous, every expression is like she's mugging. She exaggerates everything so much that it conveys nothing. Still, there's a good deal to glean from this book, both in how to conduct oneself in a formal, conservative setting, as well as how to read people in social atmospheres. Once you start reading this, you'll adopt a somewhat overwhelming self-awareness, as well as a tendency to study the people around you.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Rolando Gill

    December 2013 Pacifying behaviors are not indicators of lying. Mouth movements and hand movements. Great book. July 2013 - Reread the book, so much information. My take away this time is that I will start focusing on one body part at a time. I am also more aware of self soothing behavior in myself and others. March 2012 - Awesome, so interesting. I am going to have to review this over and over again. This book should easily help me get all of my poker losses back!

  16. 4 out of 5

    Nsiku Banda

    This exciting book opens your eyes to the very things of body language you know about. The pictorial representations makes it easy to read even not-so avid readers could just take a couple of days or so to complete the entire book. Yet, in the end you feel as though you have achieved and understood the non-verbal behaviour with a better view of the world around you - able to see most of what we take for granted in everyday life. In the book, Navarro demonstrates several types of body languages in This exciting book opens your eyes to the very things of body language you know about. The pictorial representations makes it easy to read even not-so avid readers could just take a couple of days or so to complete the entire book. Yet, in the end you feel as though you have achieved and understood the non-verbal behaviour with a better view of the world around you - able to see most of what we take for granted in everyday life. In the book, Navarro demonstrates several types of body languages in pictorial format and then correlates those postures with real-life FBI past experience making his arguments even more convincing. He conveniently highlights his life experiences as an FBI agent in distinctive boxes over many pages bringing the tapestry of human experience in all of its delightful complexity (as he puts it himself). Despite the fact that this book is well recognised in many circles, it is worth noting that some issues discussed are complex due to the fuzzy nature of the topics and lacks proper scientific evidence. However, I give Navarro credit for admitting to this and extra credit for the plethora of bibliography! Talking about fuzziness...what may be a good gesture to one may not be to another depending on several factors such as culture, religion, ethnicity to mention, but a few. However, what is good about this book is that you realise that there is nothing new about body language. All what he says you already know about - it's the way he puts it that makes it interesting! In fact, most of what he explains is common knowledge that anyone at some point in life might have come across consciously or sub-consciously. Navarro splits the non-verbal behaviours into two categories on the basis of human-consciousness - those controlled by the neocortex [conscious] and the limbic part of our brain [sub-conscious]. Most of Navarro's illustrations in this book are based around the limbic part of the brain, which has no control of the human brain. I guess that is why Navarro chose to focus his arguments on this basis because it gives him the flexibility to stretch his arguments as much as he like with no right or wrong answers. So, find out for yourself if this man with a distinguished twenty-five year career with the FBI is what he claims to be? One thing for sure is that this book will put you on the spot-light to be more aware of your surroundings than ever before.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Benoit Lelièvre

    The genius of this book doesn't lie in its pages, but in how it modifies your behavior in every day life. I mean, the information is laid out in a pretty basic fashion and it can get a little wordy sometimes (it's written like a conference speech) but it goes to work on your lymbic system (joke you'll get if you read the book :P) You'll start noticing which ways torsos bend and who is steepling his hands in meetings at work. It raises awareness and makes everyday life more interesting and it act The genius of this book doesn't lie in its pages, but in how it modifies your behavior in every day life. I mean, the information is laid out in a pretty basic fashion and it can get a little wordy sometimes (it's written like a conference speech) but it goes to work on your lymbic system (joke you'll get if you read the book :P) You'll start noticing which ways torsos bend and who is steepling his hands in meetings at work. It raises awareness and makes everyday life more interesting and it actually is. Not the best presented book, but quite enjoyable nonetheless.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Anna Elissa

    I agree with some other reviewers here. This book is useful. Everything it says is accurate. But the way it is written is B-O-R-I-N-G. A reviewer said that the book was too didactic for her. Perhaps, but I've read plenty of academic journals and many of them are more fun to read than this book. I don't know what part is wrong. And apparently this lacklustre writing style doesn't improve with translation either.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Rachel

    Everyone should read this book! Much helpful, and realistic information is presented here about reading body language and non-verbals. This is helpful for everyone- parents, friends, counselors, etc.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Mohammed Bouarrata

    Body language is the most universal, the most underrated and by far the easiest to learn, as we all use it already. This is an easy book. It gives what is promised a guide to basic nonverbals people use. I found certain sections interesting and quite informative, while some others were repetitive and just obvious, like what does an eye roll mean? The information presented is also not given in a refined way, it is somewhat too direct. Also, while the information is scientifically backed, and throug Body language is the most universal, the most underrated and by far the easiest to learn, as we all use it already. This is an easy book. It gives what is promised a guide to basic nonverbals people use. I found certain sections interesting and quite informative, while some others were repetitive and just obvious, like what does an eye roll mean? The information presented is also not given in a refined way, it is somewhat too direct. Also, while the information is scientifically backed, and through the practical experience of the author, more or less proven, this is not a very scientifical book. All in all, I learned some very useful stuff here. This book is some kind of eye-opener that will help direct your attention to something that you probably are quite ignorant about, in yourself and others. It was worth my time.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Golden Rose

    Ever since I first watched the show "Lie to Me," I have been fascinated by non-verbal behavior. I was probably fascinated by it before then, especially when I was a baby and had to rely on gestures to understand how people were feeling, but this is the first time that I have been consciously fascinated by non-verbal behavior. I bought this book along with another book on the same topic, and this was my favorite of the two. I didn't read the whole book straight-through, instead choosing to read a Ever since I first watched the show "Lie to Me," I have been fascinated by non-verbal behavior. I was probably fascinated by it before then, especially when I was a baby and had to rely on gestures to understand how people were feeling, but this is the first time that I have been consciously fascinated by non-verbal behavior. I bought this book along with another book on the same topic, and this was my favorite of the two. I didn't read the whole book straight-through, instead choosing to read a chapter at a time, in the order of what interested me the most. After I purchased this book and had read several chapters, my family and I traveled to D.C. for my History Day competition. We spent a lot of time on the Metro over the course of the trip, and putting my new-found skills to use, I attempted to read the body language of everyone on the metro. This led to some interesting discoveries, and I was amazed at how easy it is to "read" people on a basic level. This is something that we do automatically most of the time, without even thinking about it. However, I was also really happy to find that the common non-verbal behaviors Navarro points out, things that I would have never noticed, really took my observations to a higher level.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Mohammed Alshanakhnakh

    The book has great insights into body language and nonverbal communication. I was going to give it 3 stars because I didn't like the writing, it seemed very repetitive and at sometimes boring, but I changed my mind to 4 stars because, as this was my 1st read into body language, it had a lot of new info to me. Had I read another body language book before this, my opinion would probably have been different. Some of the things I learned: - nonverbal communications must be read in context - establish The book has great insights into body language and nonverbal communication. I was going to give it 3 stars because I didn't like the writing, it seemed very repetitive and at sometimes boring, but I changed my mind to 4 stars because, as this was my 1st read into body language, it had a lot of new info to me. Had I read another body language book before this, my opinion would probably have been different. Some of the things I learned: - nonverbal communications must be read in context - establish a baseline of the person's behavior before you attempt to read him/her. What could be read as a stress sign might just be his normal behavior. - it is the 'change' in body language to which we must pay attention rather than there mere signs. - Signs of discomfert/stress do not necessary mean the person is lying. - people who are being deceitful show less movement than truthful ones. - The body language of deceitful people are normally not in sync with what they're saying.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Nathalie S

    This was the best book I've read on body language. I actually read every word instead of skimming as I usually do. Former FBI agent Joe Navarro writes clearly,gives many anecdotes and pictures describing truthful and lying behaviors. When he was a boy of eight, newly arrived from Cuba, he learned which people liked him (their eyes widened slightly) and which people didn't (their eyes squinted slightly). We learn our pacifying behaviors (stroking our neck, playing with our hair, etc.) which indic This was the best book I've read on body language. I actually read every word instead of skimming as I usually do. Former FBI agent Joe Navarro writes clearly,gives many anecdotes and pictures describing truthful and lying behaviors. When he was a boy of eight, newly arrived from Cuba, he learned which people liked him (their eyes widened slightly) and which people didn't (their eyes squinted slightly). We learn our pacifying behaviors (stroking our neck, playing with our hair, etc.) which indicate when we are stressed out. We find out the most honest part of the body which turns out to be the feet. How even despite our best effort, the iris of our eyes can betray us in a flash. Very impressive body of work which I would consider buying and keep as a reference.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Ellie

    3/5 Stars Hmm. Not much to say about this one. This was about as average as a book can get. I mean, I thought the contents were interesting (even if everything I read wasn't new to me), however, the writing itself was mediocre and kind of boring. I felt like Navarro did a decent job explaining everything - though I believe he could have done much better.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Tadas Talaikis

    Will see what this would say for an NF :-D OK, this is pretty basic*, but some things are useful (for me). I read something similar twenty or so years ago and since then developed my own (non professional as it's just like a hobby to crack the minds of others) "mind reading" style. Probably good place for a brief. * Pretty basic, because to make conclusions from just some expressions is a fake and wouldn't lead to real understanding of people. How to read mind? In person. Using *facial* micro-expres Will see what this would say for an NF :-D OK, this is pretty basic*, but some things are useful (for me). I read something similar twenty or so years ago and since then developed my own (non professional as it's just like a hobby to crack the minds of others) "mind reading" style. Probably good place for a brief. * Pretty basic, because to make conclusions from just some expressions is a fake and wouldn't lead to real understanding of people. How to read mind? In person. Using *facial* micro-expressions. With enough experience, testing or intuition (more exactly, NF) - that's easy to "read" thoughts of the majority. Doesn't work for some people, who have exceptional ability to fake or mask expressions, or rather (as it's almost impossible to fake micro-expressions), in cases, when you don't give enough of the attention. Also sometimes it's better not to dig too deep, you never know what you'll find :-D Any means remote. There was one good book on this with something sniff in the title, can't recall the title now. Basically, it tells something related to below mentioned "rule". People tend to directly show or use something who they are. Good source for that is Facebook, of course, just few photos, what they share, what posters use, listen to what music, etc. and you can take them down in crock braking argument or just understand who they are (at the moment). Even if they don't share anything, it tells a lot too (ex., afraid to encounter, hide something, women have bfs,...). The rule. There is just one rule I've developed very recently, that depends on consciousness as information gravitation center function theory. It tells one simple thing - when talking, if talking, people tend to say *everything* about them without their conscious knowledge. You just need to listen "between lines". Mapping. With emotion map**, and lots of other information, you then a) can prognosticate *real* cause of their words, behavior and their "future" (basically, whether they have some potential to develop anything further than mere homo sapiens "animal"). And, b) win *any* argument in discussions. Why? Basically, because most (talking) people are talking by some reason and that reason almost always is their weakness. ** Here's one of such mappings: http://atlasofemotions.org/ (there are better, as this one doesn't show full relationships), it's pretty easy to use - like, if subject A "avoids" (that comes with various wordings), then it really means - "dislikes", some "event" (basically, pain or fear, which is also from pain) led him/her to this, and if the "event" will continue, then A would most probably "withdraw". Dynamism. If above mentioned guns are so powerful (win any argument), can others use something against you (in cases, when they're more knowledgeable about some subject or have more experience)? Well, and here dynamism, if not probabilistic understating helps. In dynamism, nothing can hurt you *if* you are mind-dynamic. Only when your mind stops, something can hit you (as a "mind"). E.g. dead "bodies" don't move, and are "static". This goes further, but space here is limited. Don't know how this to explain, probably related to the fact that "I" is just an illusion that depends on social environment. If you can change "I" without influence of social, then you're "mind-dynamic". Anyone can definitely do that, because brains are elastic entire life. This concept: a) helps not give a fuck to anything, all events are pretty random in reality anyway, and b) avoid personal hits, because you can be any person (i.e. really dynamic) at any time. So, when you receive a hit message, you move your mind and don;t give a fuck. This used in extreme word battles as it can destabilize opponent, whose *weakness* is the "goal" to be the local "god" who proves its power by destabilizing others (you, in this case). Why it's important? Over years I've come to one realization, some changes can't come without some force, aggressive people understand only force and knowledge about deeper human motives can create more lasting force. Ah, how to detect lies? It is very hard and requires full attention, time and *analysis*, no speed or intuition reads. But, - everybody lies, and probably anything that's said is a lie in some extent. People believe they should believe in order to live. It goes to just one basic emotion - fear. People believe (something) because of fear, it helps. As a "consequence", people give their full attention only to 3-theme-model: sex, food and danger. Danger is what makes you win over other not-so-crocodiles :-D If you want to be a dictator, create fear through enemies, then take freedoms of not-so-crocodiles. Probabilistic thinking. With PT when you hear the word "is" it goes back to Science and Sanity: An Introduction to Non-Aristotelian Systems and General Semantics and the concept that all models are wrong if compared with real distribution. So, "nose touching is...", etc. are oversimplifications that includes no context and in reality, with PT, we assume the mean, i.e. *nothing* (zero). Most "natural events" come in normal distributions, so any extreme "is" pointing to some extreme "event" in such distribution as true is most probably the anomalous (to state as truth) and wrong - a "religion". Book has some mentions of jumping to  conclusions, but those are not enough, we tend to rush for conclusions and because of that we're not good mind "readers". It requires real practive, of course.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Samah Allawi

    Found it a bit useful when it comes to reading: 1- silent people,or the ones who don't talk much. 2-Or taking your first impression of a person by the way he moves his hand or leg or even his head.. The book also introduces a lot of methods to reveal the worried people, frightened ones and those who hide behind a mask of fake feelings Though everything that has been mentioned is useful, you need alot of practice and an alert sensations.. So you can notice every single move The thing I liked the mos Found it a bit useful when it comes to reading: 1- silent people,or the ones who don't talk much. 2-Or taking your first impression of a person by the way he moves his hand or leg or even his head.. The book also introduces a lot of methods to reveal the worried people, frightened ones and those who hide behind a mask of fake feelings Though everything that has been mentioned is useful, you need alot of practice and an alert sensations.. So you can notice every single move The thing I liked the most about it.. is that all the tricks and infos he presented aren't absolute.. You can find people who shake their legs constantly as a habit.. Not because they are nervous all the time. Thus you should know before reading that all this infos are BASICS.. That you have been ignoring when not seeing body languages AS ALL BOOKS WITH SAME TOPICS :::::: The book is about 265 pages.. You can skip most of them (basically the self_experiences and all FBI situations) easily and make it 100 pages.. Concise and Brief

  27. 4 out of 5

    Jacob

    Somehow I got it into my head that this book was about getting evidence from crime scenes, starting with bodies themselves? Actually, it's incredibly similar to Spy the Lie, although it's focused on interpreting emotions and feelings in general, and not just identifying when people are deceiving you. It's very clear, easy to read, and has helpful illustrations (which I don't remember from Spy the Lie). The book is divided by parts of the body, with sections on the legs and feet, torso, arms and Somehow I got it into my head that this book was about getting evidence from crime scenes, starting with bodies themselves? Actually, it's incredibly similar to Spy the Lie, although it's focused on interpreting emotions and feelings in general, and not just identifying when people are deceiving you. It's very clear, easy to read, and has helpful illustrations (which I don't remember from Spy the Lie). The book is divided by parts of the body, with sections on the legs and feet, torso, arms and hands, and face. I particularly enjoyed the author sharing stories about when he used some of the advice he's giving and how it made a difference. This is definitely something I will need to reread, and next time I plan to take some notes that summarize it so I can refresh my memory more easily. It's already been interesting to occasionally notice a behavior that I remember from the book, indicating that someone doesn't want to be there, or feels vulnerable, or is comfortable :)

  28. 4 out of 5

    Taka

    Good-- Aside from his personal stories that just come across as borderline braggadocio, this book is worth every penny. As a burgeoning writer, I have greatly benefited from gaining more precise knowledge of body language as I will be able to portray "pacifying behavior," signs of discomfort, and other nonverbal cues more accurately in writing. The writing is simple and easy to go through. Although there are vignettes and asides that could have better been cut, the information contained in this bo Good-- Aside from his personal stories that just come across as borderline braggadocio, this book is worth every penny. As a burgeoning writer, I have greatly benefited from gaining more precise knowledge of body language as I will be able to portray "pacifying behavior," signs of discomfort, and other nonverbal cues more accurately in writing. The writing is simple and easy to go through. Although there are vignettes and asides that could have better been cut, the information contained in this book is very useful in real life. Recommended.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Chris

    Non-verbal communication has always fascinated me, and this appears to be a well-organized and educated approach to the subject by someone with a lot of experience. Maybe it will help navigating the plethora of back-stabbing actors in Los Angeles. Ha ha ha. He has a nice bibliography and references too, which is always nice. Pretty dry, so I am not through yet, but the information seems pretty good and pretty well organized. I recommend this book as a good start on understanding non-verbal cues

  30. 4 out of 5

    John

    The book is a very elementary primer on how to read people's body language. It was a quick read and provided concrete information on how to read people. I wish the stories were longer and more descriptive. It takes the formula of a business book and applies it to a complicated science. Not sure how helpful this will be, other than to recognize the moments when people are most uncomfortable in a business situation.

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