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On Being an Introvert or Highly Sensitive Person: A guide to boundaries, joy, and meaning PDF, ePub eBook

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On Being an Introvert or Highly Sensitive Person: A guide to boundaries, joy, and meaning

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On Being an Introvert or Highly Sensitive Person: A guide to boundaries, joy, and meaning PDF, ePub eBook In a culture that ranks sociability and extroversion above the introverted traits of deep thinking and being alone, Ilse Sand shows how to find joy and meaning as an introvert or highly sensitive person. She debates whether these traits are caused by nature or nurture, and shows how someone like this can organise their life to keep them content. What she says is appropriat In a culture that ranks sociability and extroversion above the introverted traits of deep thinking and being alone, Ilse Sand shows how to find joy and meaning as an introvert or highly sensitive person. She debates whether these traits are caused by nature or nurture, and shows how someone like this can organise their life to keep them content. What she says is appropriate for people who are temporarily, or for some other reason, in a sensitive situation - for example, because of stress, trauma or burn-out. It describes the introverted personality type and the highly sensitive trait, highlighting the strengths that come with it such as good listening skills and rich imagination, and suggests ways to overcome the negatives such as the need to avoid overstimulation and over-critical thinking. Including advice from other introverts or highly sensitive people, and two self-tests for sensitive and introverted traits, this book provides a deeper understanding of introversion and high sensitivity and gives those with these personality types greater faith and courage in their own talents.

30 review for On Being an Introvert or Highly Sensitive Person: A guide to boundaries, joy, and meaning

  1. 5 out of 5

    Dannii Elle

    As an introvert myself, I thought a book dedicated the study of introversion would be both fascinating and helpful in life. And, initially, that is just what this was. This discoursed on the struggles introverts face, as well as society's bias towards extroverted activities and individuals. The scale of introversion was discussed and small quizzes helped the reader to find their place on this chart. This was also peppered with snippets from other self-proclaimed introverts lives, which made this As an introvert myself, I thought a book dedicated the study of introversion would be both fascinating and helpful in life. And, initially, that is just what this was. This discoursed on the struggles introverts face, as well as society's bias towards extroverted activities and individuals. The scale of introversion was discussed and small quizzes helped the reader to find their place on this chart. This was also peppered with snippets from other self-proclaimed introverts lives, which made this relatable and facts surrounding them feel less daunting. My issue was with how the author proposed you could 'tackle' your introversion and the hacks that could be improvised to make every-day life less of an anxiety-riddled muddle. For example, the idea of cutting off those who approach me with a simple 'I don't want to talk' filled me with a fear of dread rather than providing a way to avoid unwanted interaction. This may be okay, in theory, when approached by strangers but I could not imagine speaking to friends, family, or colleagues in this manner. Another example was when the reader proposed a brisk walk to help clear a muddled mind. This, I completely agree with and already find a relaxing escape from my own mind. What I didn't appreciate was the author's suggestion for the reader to find a secluded spot to perform this, and recounted times she had been interrupted in her reverie by strangers asking if she was okay due to the pensive expression on her face. Annoyance was expressed by this intrusion rather than gratitude at this kindness. I completely understand the author's intentions with these and how it depicted how skewed society is in favour of extroversion. I also understand the point of these is not to offend but to convince the reader that saying no can be a guilt-free experience. I do, however, believe there could be kinder ways to do so and could never imagine myself enacting these proposed suggestions. I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Thank you to the author, Ilse Sand, and the publisher, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, for this opportunity.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Schizanthus

    On Being an Introvert or Highly Sensitive Person should have had me saying, “Me, too!” on every page. I was really excited to learn some cool new things to celebrate about being an introvert. I haven’t read any books about sensitivity so was hoping for plenty of lightbulb moments. Unfortunately I was disappointed. I felt this book read more as an introduction to introversion and sensitivity rather than an in depth study on either topic. I expect that if you haven’t read anything about being an in On Being an Introvert or Highly Sensitive Person should have had me saying, “Me, too!” on every page. I was really excited to learn some cool new things to celebrate about being an introvert. I haven’t read any books about sensitivity so was hoping for plenty of lightbulb moments. Unfortunately I was disappointed. I felt this book read more as an introduction to introversion and sensitivity rather than an in depth study on either topic. I expect that if you haven’t read anything about being an introvert you would gain new insights. However I’ve recently read Jenn Granneman’s The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World and Debbie Tung’s graphic novel Quiet Girl in a Noisy World: An Introvert's Story, and I personally found these previous reads more enlightening and uplifting. Ilse Sand developed two tests for this book to use as a guide for where you sit on the introvert/extrovert scale and how sensitive you are. By testing myself I wound up with a score of +56 on the introvert/extrovert scale, where +64 is as introverted as you can get, -64 is as extroverted as you can get and around 0 means you’re ambivert (a new word for me). The sensitivity scale is much the same, except +40 is highly sensitive, 0 is moderately sensitive and -40 is ordinarily sensitive. My score for this one was +29. I’m not as introverted or as sensitive as it’s humanly possible to be but I’m right up there so while I think that should’ve converted to a “Me, too!” extravaganza while reading this book, I just didn’t feel it. There’s nothing that wrong with this book but I lacked a connection with the writing style, which may be due to it having been translated from Danish for this edition. I found some of the sentences and phrasing clunky and there were some instances where I felt the writing could have benefited from another sentence between thoughts to connect them more cohesively. There were a few parts I found cringeworthy, especially those where it read as though introversion is an excuse to sit on the bench of life rather than it being something to be celebrated. I doubt very much that this was the author’s intention so it may again come down to something being lost in the translation. I quite enjoyed the information explaining Carl Jung’s work distinguishing personality types, Elaine Aron’s research into the highly sensitive character trait and Jerome Kagan’s studies into high-reactive children. The author made good use of personal anecdotes and quotes from her work as a parish pastor and psychotherapist. I wondered why it was necessary for some examples to be fictionalised and others used anonymously as there weren’t any skeleton in the closet revelations. Some readers may baulk at reading this book knowing it was written by an author who has worked as a pastor but I didn’t find it preachy. The examples that included the author’s church were primarily used to explore the differences between the introverted author and the church’s previous extroverted pastor. The serenity prayer was included, as was a reference to making something an idol in your life. I encountered one of my pet peeves in this book on three occasions that I can recall, where the author tells you that you really need to know something and then rather than telling you this life changing piece of information, they refer you to one of their other books. Personally when someone does that I deliberately avoid the book they’re plugging but that could just be my stubborn showing. If you write a book well then I’ll seek out your other books myself, but if you tease me with the possibility of insight and then rip it away unless I buy another of your books, then I tend to search for that information elsewhere. The author’s foray into mental health conditions towards the end of the book seemed to come out of left field and as someone who’s experienced PTSD I found the following sentences a tad weird coming from a psychotherapist, “If you are extremely afraid, for example of the anger of others, you should be aware that you may have PTSD. If you do not remember it, ask your parents whether you were subjected to violence when you were a child.” (82%) People, just because you have fear doesn’t mean you have PTSD but if you do think you may have PTSD please seek help from a medical professional! Please note that this quote is from the ARC and may change prior to the publication date. I received a copy of this book from NetGalley (thank you so much to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the opportunity) in exchange for honest feedback.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Evelina | AvalinahsBooks

    This is a great book for you to read if you haven't read anything about being introverted or extroverted before. In fact, that's a thing I've seen in many reviews - but this is precisely why I loved the book. In fact, I am a highly sensitive person, but happen to be somewhere right around the middle of introverted and extroverted, having reverted back and forth several times in my life! So because of that, it was an extremely interesting read, as I've never really seen that talked about, or the This is a great book for you to read if you haven't read anything about being introverted or extroverted before. In fact, that's a thing I've seen in many reviews - but this is precisely why I loved the book. In fact, I am a highly sensitive person, but happen to be somewhere right around the middle of introverted and extroverted, having reverted back and forth several times in my life! So because of that, it was an extremely interesting read, as I've never really seen that talked about, or the fact that you could actually change and this is not weird. It was also pleasant to find out that there's nothing wrong with ME - being sensitive is genetic, and it can also be enforced in your early childhood. It's not a sickness. IT'S THE WAY YOU ARE. And it's incredibly important for people like us to be told that, understand and accept that. And this is precisely what this book is about! It will help you understand what kind of personality you are, and accept that despite our society, our culture and even our workplaces catering to only a certain type of personality, you are OKAY the way you are. There are also some very simple solutions in this book on how to deal with society and people, and generally - LIFE - if you're highly sensitive or an introvert. I couldn't say they're earth-shattering (like a lot of the reviewers seem to he pointing out), but they are positive and constructive, and they might be enough to nudge you in the right direction. There is also a test at the end of the book to find out how introverted, extroverted or sensitive you are. I thank the publisher for giving me a free copy of the book for my honest and unbiased review. More Reviews on My Blog | My Bookstagram | Bookish Twitter

  4. 4 out of 5

    Tami

    I'm definitely a highly sensitive person, so I was super excited to finally get my hands on a book about HSPs. This was an interesting read, full of helpful tips and advice. Although it was a bit dry at times, it was a pretty good introduction for people who are highly sensitive. The author herself is both introverted and highly sensitive, so she shares both personal anecdotes and experiences others have had as introverted HSPs. I wish she had gone a little bit deeper into the topic, but I still I'm definitely a highly sensitive person, so I was super excited to finally get my hands on a book about HSPs. This was an interesting read, full of helpful tips and advice. Although it was a bit dry at times, it was a pretty good introduction for people who are highly sensitive. The author herself is both introverted and highly sensitive, so she shares both personal anecdotes and experiences others have had as introverted HSPs. I wish she had gone a little bit deeper into the topic, but I still liked the book anyway and I recommend it to anyone who doesn't know much about the topic but is interested in learning more. Copy received from Netgalley for an honest review.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Elle♣

    *Thank you to the author and NetGalley for giving me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review* 3.5 stars I accept myself as being both an introvert and a highly sensitive person. Thanks, anxiety! So, typically, I wanted to pick this up and see what kind of "guidance" was being given. It's a pretty quick read. It has comments from fellow introverts' throughout the differing chapter topics, and there are some interactive checklists/quizzes inside, which is always a nice addition. With bei *Thank you to the author and NetGalley for giving me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review* 3.5 stars I accept myself as being both an introvert and a highly sensitive person. Thanks, anxiety! So, typically, I wanted to pick this up and see what kind of "guidance" was being given. It's a pretty quick read. It has comments from fellow introverts' throughout the differing chapter topics, and there are some interactive checklists/quizzes inside, which is always a nice addition. With being a counselor and psychotherapist, Sands is obviously deeply knowledgeable on both subjects, and how best to approach them through self and supported management. However, I found it odd that her "solutions," to certain situations that can be difficult for introverts/highly sensitive people to deal with, consisted of being pretty blunt with people and telling them straight, "I don't want to talk" etc, which doesn't make sense to me... I had a heart attack just reading them. This book is very informatic on the subjects, but the guides were questionable. At the end of the day, we can read an abundance of self-help books... but for me, they never have an impact.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Bookworm

    As someone who is both I am always curious to read books about either introversion or being a HSP and I was excited to see this book cover both! I'm familiar with various books, websites, etc. and was interested to see what Sand had to say. If you're not new to being either/both then there's not a lot that will be new. She talks about what they are, how to cope in certain situations, etc. I also didn't find the writing style particularly compelling, and it looks like part of the issue is that it' As someone who is both I am always curious to read books about either introversion or being a HSP and I was excited to see this book cover both! I'm familiar with various books, websites, etc. and was interested to see what Sand had to say. If you're not new to being either/both then there's not a lot that will be new. She talks about what they are, how to cope in certain situations, etc. I also didn't find the writing style particularly compelling, and it looks like part of the issue is that it's translated from Danish, which explains a lot. I also found some of the advice both occasionally helpful and sometimes a little too much on the side of sheltering ones self. Other people have discussed how the approaches are not best, such as very bluntly telling someone "I don't want to talk." For me this is most obvious when she talks about cutting down on the news. As a concept I don't think it's bad advice, but she openly states she won't follow any news and will ask someone else to give her an abbreviated version. I can understand it, I do. But I also think in some ways this can give introverts/HSPs to remain uninformed and sheltered to the point of becoming genuine hindrances OR (as in the situation of asking someone else to tell you), a decrease in the the ability to critically think for oneself. It also lends to an avoidance of dealing with uncomfortable concepts or events which also, again, doesn't help the HSP and greater society. There is a balance to these things and I'm not sure it really helps an HSP to chose not to remain informed, especially when there are outlets who do "sanitize" their coverage by not reporting the most gory details and/or are now adding notes that their reports may be distressing. It's a pity because I waited forever to find a copy from the library but in the end I'm glad I didn't buy it. I'm not sure this is really the best book out there for introversion and being high sensitive. There are other, better books out there and I'd only recommend it if it's the only copy you can acquire via library, purchase, etc.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Catie

    I'll preface this by saying that I am not a self-help reader. Until coming across this book, I have never knowingly chosen to read any type of self-help guide. I'm completely unfamiliar with the genre and its conventions, so I can't comment on the ways in which this book fits into or deviates from the usual things readers of this genre might expect. This is a practical, advice-heavy volume, and as such it's definitely a bit dry. The author self-identifies as both an introvert and an HSP, and so I'll preface this by saying that I am not a self-help reader. Until coming across this book, I have never knowingly chosen to read any type of self-help guide. I'm completely unfamiliar with the genre and its conventions, so I can't comment on the ways in which this book fits into or deviates from the usual things readers of this genre might expect. This is a practical, advice-heavy volume, and as such it's definitely a bit dry. The author self-identifies as both an introvert and an HSP, and so she is able to offer brief glimpses into her own life (many of which are quite interesting—she briefly discusses living in a commune with her young children) in order to illustrate her points, but doesn't go into much detail or dwell on personal anecdotes. At times I found the advice overly prescriptive (with a few broad, blanket statements that made me bristle a little), but more frequently it is presented in a soft, gentle manner (as is appropriate, given the sorts of readers who are likely to be drawn to this book). It was a helpful read for me, as a lifelong introvert and likely HSP. I would also recommend it to parents, close friends, and partners of introverts and/or HSPs, who would certainly benefit from a deeper understanding of the needs and sensitivities of their loved ones. [3.5 stars] Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a copy for review.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Krystal

    On Being an Introverted or a Highly Sensitive Person by Ilse Sand is a very interesting read, as I myself am both an Introvert and a Highly Sensitive Person I knew I just I had to pick this up and give it a read. Up until till today I wasn't able distinguish what the differences where between both, but whilst reading this the lines have become clearer and I'm able to see what trait belongs to which title. Even though I found this helpful I just wish we were given a deeper understanding of Introve On Being an Introverted or a Highly Sensitive Person by Ilse Sand is a very interesting read, as I myself am both an Introvert and a Highly Sensitive Person I knew I just I had to pick this up and give it a read. Up until till today I wasn't able distinguish what the differences where between both, but whilst reading this the lines have become clearer and I'm able to see what trait belongs to which title. Even though I found this helpful I just wish we were given a deeper understanding of Introversion and HS instead of a book that's just skimming the surface. Ilse has identified as both and Introvert and Highly Sensitive so she sheds some light on some of hers amd others experiences and how they impacted them. In some cases she explains how they delt with their situations or she has explained how other Introverts, Extroverts & HS people can and may respond to these situations. So as I did find this somewhat helpful I feel it wasn't what I was looking for but I feel this may be great to hand to a relative or a friend to help them better understand the life of Introverts and Sensitive people.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Angela Gibson

    I would recommend this book for anyone who is being introduced to personality typing. The author provides personal details, which help greatly in defining introvert behaviors and HSP behaviors. I enjoy reading self help books and applying methods to my own life; I found that this book was too basic for the research that I've already done. For anyone who is just beginning to explore self-help, this book is organized well, provides concrete and real life examples, and is helpful with self testing. I would recommend this book for anyone who is being introduced to personality typing. The author provides personal details, which help greatly in defining introvert behaviors and HSP behaviors. I enjoy reading self help books and applying methods to my own life; I found that this book was too basic for the research that I've already done. For anyone who is just beginning to explore self-help, this book is organized well, provides concrete and real life examples, and is helpful with self testing. This book rates a solid 3 because of the organization and recommendations. It's going to be too basic for most readers.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Cece Lin

    I’m a HSR, and it shows more when I’m in a relationship, it bothers me because when I’m alone I wouldn’t realize how much I’m bothered by those negative thoughts although I consider myself to be 70% positive, but when I’m in a relationship there’s always someone who can sense my mood and since I don’t want to lie to my bf I usually talk him about this and he usually needs to spend lots of time to talk me out of the mood and I’m so afraid he would get tired soon... this books helps me a bit how t I’m a HSR, and it shows more when I’m in a relationship, it bothers me because when I’m alone I wouldn’t realize how much I’m bothered by those negative thoughts although I consider myself to be 70% positive, but when I’m in a relationship there’s always someone who can sense my mood and since I don’t want to lie to my bf I usually talk him about this and he usually needs to spend lots of time to talk me out of the mood and I’m so afraid he would get tired soon... this books helps me a bit how to deal with the world when I feel guilty Over everything

  11. 5 out of 5

    Naomi Buchanan

    An interesting look into what it is like to be an introvert and highly sensitive person. Ilse provides real-life examples throughout, adding even more of a personal touch to this literary work. As an introvert myself, I found this book rather intriguing, and it describes the life and feelings of an introvert effectively. I definitely recommend this for fans of Quiet by Susan Cain, and to those who want to delve into the minds of introverts (and to a certain extent extroverts), a little more.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Helen

    This book is similar to others written by Isle Sand but I still foudn it helpful to read. I need to be reminded that it's OK to function slightly differently to others and that It's not weird to be so affected by smells or noise. I have foudn that I am now kinder to myself and allow myself more room in my schedule after becomign more aware of my need for it from reading this book and others like it.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Diyar Harraz

    The kind of book I've been waiting to come across for years! This book has absolutely nailed every bits and bobs about an introvert and as an Introvert myself, this is currently helping me to deal with what I'm going through. In this huge wide world where everyone tends to view an Introvert as something of a sore eye, this book is the best companion I could ever have had as it understands me better than anybody could have. Thank you for writing this!

  14. 4 out of 5

    Beth

    A useful little manual for introverts/HSP living in an increasingly loud, extroverted world. There are some good tips not only for how to take care of yourself, but also how to let others around you know what you need and how to communicate better with other personality types. *Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC, provided by the author and/or the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Rico Sy

    It’s a simple book to read about introversion and highly sensitive people. It helps us understand ourselves and other people who have these personality traits. It provides ways for introverts and highly sensitive people (and the people around them) how to deal with emotions and thoughts that they go through.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Monica

    for me not much new information.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Aileen

    2.5*

  18. 4 out of 5

    Luke

  19. 5 out of 5

    Beast 2105

  20. 5 out of 5

    Caren

  21. 4 out of 5

    Chris

  22. 5 out of 5

    Maya

  23. 4 out of 5

    Angela

  24. 5 out of 5

    hanh

  25. 4 out of 5

    Sarah

  26. 4 out of 5

    Taylor

  27. 5 out of 5

    X-626

  28. 4 out of 5

    Peter Hudec

  29. 5 out of 5

    Zireael

  30. 5 out of 5

    Linea Gabel

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