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The Diary of Anaïs Nin Volume 4 1944-1947 PDF, ePub eBook

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The Diary of Anaïs Nin Volume 4 1944-1947

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The Diary of Anaïs Nin Volume 4 1944-1947 PDF, ePub eBook The author's experiences in Greenwich Village, where she defends young writers against the Establishment, and her trip across the country in an old Ford to California and Mexico. "[Nin is] one of the most extraordinary and unconventional writers of this century" (New York Times Book Review). Edited and with a Preface by Gunther Stuhlmann; Index.

30 review for The Diary of Anaïs Nin Volume 4 1944-1947

  1. 5 out of 5

    Rowena

    “An odyssey from inner to outer life. - The Diary of Anais Nin, Volume 4(1944-1947) With each diary Anais Nin is gaining in wisdom and digging deeper into subjects that have preoccupied her. Having read the first four of her diaries in just under a year, I can honestly say I'm in no danger or getting bored by them. They always seem so refreshing to me. The early part of this volume talks about the war. First: "Bomb attempt on Hitler failed. Depression, discouragement. We had hoped for his death s “An odyssey from inner to outer life. - The Diary of Anais Nin, Volume 4(1944-1947) With each diary Anais Nin is gaining in wisdom and digging deeper into subjects that have preoccupied her. Having read the first four of her diaries in just under a year, I can honestly say I'm in no danger or getting bored by them. They always seem so refreshing to me. The early part of this volume talks about the war. First: "Bomb attempt on Hitler failed. Depression, discouragement. We had hoped for his death so often." Then: "An atom bomb dropped on Hiroshima. A horror to stun the world. Unbelievable barbarism." Followed very closely by: "Second bomb dropped on Nagasaki. This is savagery on such a scale that I cannot believe it." In this volume, Nin focuses much of her attention on the young, Gore Vidal in particular. It does sound like she was jaded by the people in her own age group . The only person she seemed to understand was Dali, who showed up to a lecture wearing a diving suit. Nin gives a lot of writing advice, great writing advice really: “To hold back is an activity which withers, inhibits, and ultimately kills the seeds. When you first surrender your dream, you may feel poor. But the instinct, like that of nature, is to replenish, refecundate. I have found this to be true. The more I write, the more I give, the more I love, the stronger grows the source. The writer is exposing himself in any form, ultimately as we do in love, but it is a risk we must take.” The diary ends with Nin going on an American road trip. Her descriptions of her experiences are beautiful: “Standing there stunned by the mass of colours changing in the light, we heard a subtle vibration, a faint symphony of sounds. It was the wind, traveling through changing depths and heights, affected by curves, towers, heights, abysses, issuing prolonged musical whispers.” A lot of people see Nin as a flake. Perhaps she was but there's no denying that her writing is beautiful and that she valued the important things in life. She lamented the fact that human beings are becoming so impersonal, life becoming more rigid and robotic, and that less and less people are expressing their creativity or appreciating the arts. I think she was spot on there. I don't think she was a perfect person by any means and I was quite troubled by her assumptions on homosexuals. But, as always, I admire and appreciate her honesty, her authenticity, and her striving to understand herself better.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Anna

    Quotation: "The dangerous time when mechanical voices, radios, telephones, take the place of human intimacies, and the concept of being in touch with millions brings a greater and greater poverty in intimacy and human vision." Prescient. What would she make of Twitter? Nin's observations on cynicism and romanticism, the loss of human interaction as we attempt to connect to more and more people, and the nature of analysis as pulling apart rather than synthesizing, are very resonant. She looked for Quotation: "The dangerous time when mechanical voices, radios, telephones, take the place of human intimacies, and the concept of being in touch with millions brings a greater and greater poverty in intimacy and human vision." Prescient. What would she make of Twitter? Nin's observations on cynicism and romanticism, the loss of human interaction as we attempt to connect to more and more people, and the nature of analysis as pulling apart rather than synthesizing, are very resonant. She looked for warmth, passion and humanity uncalloused by life, materialism, grandiosity. Some of her observations are homophobic, or at least classifying of "the homosexual" as a homogeneous group. Her struggles with other famous artists of her time are fascinating, as are her self-doubt and her simultaneous self-knowledge. She knew what she was drawn to in others and tried to surround herself with it. Her concept of "emotional reality" is something greatly lacking in contemporary writing.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Aric Cushing

    Anais Nin's words are like a young girl playing with fox tails on a summer day. Light, beautiful, painful, and so erudite, the honesty makes one question whether anything has every really changed in the human condition.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Juan (He who reads!) Manuel

    Hace mucho tenia ganas de leer este libro por un artículo que escribio Maria Popova (Brainpicker) acerca de este volume de los diarios de Nin, que tenia la siguiente cita: “Older people fall into rigid patterns. Curiosity, risk, exploration are forgotten by them.” Últimamente los diarios y compendios de cartas de los escritores me atraen mucho. Las siguientes notas fueron tomadas de este libro: • "Every time our hope for a better world is based on a system, this system collapses, due to the corr Hace mucho tenia ganas de leer este libro por un artículo que escribio Maria Popova (Brainpicker) acerca de este volume de los diarios de Nin, que tenia la siguiente cita: “Older people fall into rigid patterns. Curiosity, risk, exploration are forgotten by them.” Últimamente los diarios y compendios de cartas de los escritores me atraen mucho. Las siguientes notas fueron tomadas de este libro: • "Every time our hope for a better world is based on a system, this system collapses, due to the corruptibility and imperfection of human beings. I believe we have to go back and work at the growth of human beings, so they will not need systems, but will know how to rule themselves. • Now you have suffered the shock of disillusion in an ideology which has betrayed its ideals. It is a good time to return to the creation of yourself, not as a blind number in a group, but as an individual. • The inner chambers of the soul are like the photographer's darkroom. Like a laboratory. One cannot stay there all the time or it becomes the solitary cell of the neurotic. I know some who draw all their energy inward, coiled within themselves, and then all the senses—ears, eyes, touch—become atrophied. Communication stops. They shrivel. • My only strength is the strength of wholeness, of total feeling. That is what I am writing with. • Bomb attempt on Hitler failed. Depression, discouragement. We had hoped for his death so often. • She left us, saying: "There is very little food in the icebox. You will be sorry." We decided to sit around the kitchen table and spend the evening reading Finnegans Wake aloud. Charles read the banquet scene. We savored every word as if it were food. We found the sounds delectable. When Moira returned, she found us sitting contentedly, still reading, and not suffering from hunger. • Liberation of France! JOY. JOY. JOY. JOY. JOY. JOY. JOY. JOY. JOY. Such joy, such happiness at the hope of war ending. Happiness in unison with the world. Delirious happiness. • I received a telephone call from Harry Herkovitz. He said: "I am waiting downstairs with a gun. I'm going to kill you." "You can't force people to love, Harry. I have been a good friend. Your girl loves you deeply, and that is rare to find." "I'm going to kill you." "I will call the police." • We are never trapped unless we choose to be. • I saw art as a drug, the only drug left to me now that I am losing illusion. • I thought Virginia Woolf had gone as far as anyone in portraying delicate human emotions, but you've gone a head above her. Her emotions are always too refined. She never gets any earth or good wholesome sensuality into her work and you have got both. This style of yours gives you wonderful scope for going beyond even D. H. Lawrence at his best in the portrayal of the unusual and delicate human relationships. • A snowstorm. I was working on This Hunger, when my typewriter broke down. I went out into the snow with it to get it repaired. When I came back, I did not feel like writing the continuation of Djuna's life at the orphan asylum and her hunger. I felt like writing about snow. I wrote every image, every sensation, every fantasy I had experienced during my walk. The snowstorm had thrown me back into the past, into my innocent adolescence, surrounded by desires, at sixteen, intimidated, tense. I compared my adolescence with the frozen adolescence of others around me today. They all fused: snow, the frost of fear, the ice of virginity, purity, innocence, and always the sudden danger of melting. • Our life is composed greatly from dreams, from the unconscious, and they must be brought into connection with action. They must be woven together. • The nearness of the Russians to Berlin—ninety miles—is the feverish theme of all our talks and interest. A terrifying moment for the world. • I am writing, loving, and choose to believe the letters I receive rather than the sour reviewers. • The ear is purer than the eye, which reads only relative meaning into words. Whereas the distillation of experience into pure sound, a state of music, is timeless and absolute. • Any dependence causes anxiety. Because one is living through another and fears the loss of the other. • It is possible I avoided learning the names of composers and their music the better to close my eyes and listen to the mystery of all music as an ocean. • Of all the elements which stay in my memory, the most vivid is his curious luminosity. Why does it appear in children and adolescents, and then vanish? Is it the presence of the spirit? Is it that the skin, the flesh, is still transparent, not dense and opaque? • Formal German surrender signed. The war in Europe is over. A date to remember: May 8, 1945. • Long ago I had discussed with Dr. Otto Rank what he called "the Double," which is another expression of our need to project a part of ourselves onto others. Dr. Esther Harding talked about this most clearly one evening. I took notes. We play a persona role to the world. The acceptance of this social role delivers us to the demands of the collective, and makes us a stranger to our own reality. The consequent split in the personality may find the ego in agreement with general community expectations, while the re-pressed shadow turns dissenter. Failure to acknowledge this dark alter ego creates the tendency to project it onto someone in the immediate environment, the mirror-opposite to one's self. This redeems the masked self from total annihilation. • Try to write in your diary to keep that little flame burning. Expand, open, speak, name, describe, exclaim, paint, caricature, dance, jump in your writing. We are here as writers to say everything. Speak for your moods, make your muteness and silence eloquent. • The great beauty of my life is that I live out what others only dream about, talk about, analyze. I want to go on living the uncensored dream, the free unconscious. • I read Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet. "An emotion is pure whenever it takes up your whole being." • America suffers from too much realism, too much Dreiserism, too many Hemingways and Thomas Wolfes. My passion is for freedom from contingencies, from statistics, from literalness, from photographic descriptions. • The important task of literature is to free man, not to censor him, and that is why Puritanism was the most destructive and evil force which ever oppressed people and their literature: it created hypocrisy, perversion, fears, sterility. • The value of Henry Miller is not at all in spiritual or moral qualities, but in his shattering of Puritan crystallizations. • There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend reality by imagination, as I try to do. • I feel the prime morality of literature should be to teach how to live, expand physically and mentally, how to experience, see, hear, feel, and give birth simultaneously to the soul and the body. • No one can live with only a clinical, psychological, or historical vision of the world. There must be a capacity to recreate, renovate, renew. • too much lucidity creates a desert, and one has to find water again, to replant, reseed. • "You make me lose a certain order," he said. • Why do people have confidence in their little conscious world, and such fear of the much deeper and larger one below consciousness? • To write means to give all. No withholding is possible. The best writers are those who give all. However, there is the choice of clothing: fiction, symbolism, poetry, etc. • I agree with you that a dream given is no longer yours, but it is also true that the more dreams you give, the more you exercise the production of dreams to fill the void, and this faculty grows stronger as you make demands upon it. • To hold back is an activity which withers, inhibits, and ultimately kills the seeds. • The more I write, the more I give, the more I love, the stronger grows the source. The writer is exposing himself in any form, ultimately, as we do in love, but it is a risk we must take. • As I can only write well about what I feel, I have had to find a way to relate what I see and feel to the book, rather than the other way around. • Not easy to achieve freedom without chaos. • An atom bomb dropped on Hiroshima. A horror to stun the world. Unbelievable barbarism. • Japan surrendered. It seems unbelievable that we can go on living, loving, working, in a world so monstrous, and this because we do not know how to curb the savagery of war, how to control history. That is why I hate history, because it makes man feel helpless in the strangle hold of hatred. More wars. More wars. More destruction. More horrible ways to destroy human beings. What can we do? Because we feel we have no say in all this, we turn away. Those who talk politics all day and all night have not solved anything. • I can always bring forth proofs of the incident which inspired the character or place, but in order to capture emotion, the reality of how we feel or see the world, I have to go beyond appearance, and then it takes on the quality of a dream; but it is not a dream, it is the way our interior life is lived. • We celebrate peace. Yet we pay no attention to the ways of curing aggression in human beings. • We do not pay attention, because we only pay attention to headlines and the press. • Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life. • I react against the plain, the one-dimensional men. I will not name them. I meet them everywhere, prosaic, down-to-earth, always talking of politics, never for one moment in the world of music or pleasure, never free of the weight of daily problems, never joyous, never elated, made of either concrete and steel or like work horses, indifferent to their bodies, obsessed with power. • I have withstood the obsession with politics because I do not believe any system will make man less cruel or less greedy. He has to do this himself, individually. • He wanted me to help him reconstruct his life, to help him choose a couch, wanted to talk with me. But I wanted to leave. • The next day I had a cold. Edmund Wilson sent flowers, and a set of Jane Austen, with a note. He was hoping I would learn how to write a novel from reading her! But I am not an imitator of past styles. • I do not like wrestling matches, I do not like talk marathons, I do not like arguments, or struggles to convert others. I seek harmony. • I have a hostility toward authority, money, the organization of the world. • I fear restrictions. I live by impulse and improvisation, and want to write the same way. • The artists I live with have no power in the world. They are the dreamers, who create beauty. • Force, authority, power. They are uncreative. I have a right to elude them. • The analogy between the artist and the child is that both live in a world of their own making. This world soon enters into conflict with the outside world. • Both the artist and the child create an inner world ruled by their fantasies or dreams. They do not understand the world of money, or the pursuit of power. They create without commercial intent. They rebel against existing conditions. They cannot be deceived. The realistic world for them is ruled by conscious compromises, self-betrayals, selling out. • Fowlie wrote somewhere, too, that the poet was the one in whom the child's sensitivity survived in the adult, and that it was from this source that he wrote poetry. • Publishers are calling me. I am supposed to see Random House, Harper's, and Pascal Covici, of Viking. I am both happy and sad. I do not like their world, their values. • The struggle with money and the press is nothing compared with the more subtle struggle against accepting money for compromising. • "Yes, we absolutely want you. You have great talent. But do you think the next book might be ... more of a novel ... according to orthodox forms?" "No," I said. "It will be done in my own way." • "That's just what I want," said Mr. Covici, "collision with the earth. I want you more earthy." "You'll have to wait for that," I said. "Oh," he groaned, "can't you write a novel like everybody else, with a beginning and an end?" "No." • The real Anai's is in the diary. Even the destructive Anai's who refuses to destroy in life. • I like casual relationships. When you are involved you get hurt." • Also, I prefer to break a dish after I eat, rather than wash it. • This morning, late, he called: "Guess what I am doing? We are sitting here reading Under a Glass Bell." "Who is we?" "Truman Capote." "Do you like the stories?" "We love them. He loves them." • The writing I do has created a world which draws into it the people I want to live with, who want to live in my world. One can make a world out of paper and ink and words. They make good constructions, habitable refuges, with overdoses of oxygen. • a change of system would not cure mankind of war and greed. That the only solution was each man working upon himself, his individual discipline against hostility, prejudice and distortion of others, where the evil begins. • The real wonders of life lie in the depths. Exploring the depths for truths is the real wonder which the child and the artist know: magic and power lie in truth. • I take a far more unexplored world, that of neurosis, and I want to picture the drama which the psychologist struggles with every day: a world of diffused vision, broken connections, symbolic dramas in which the psychic vision creates totally different and elusive problems. • As it is in moments of emotional crisis that human beings reveal themselves most deeply, I choose to write more often about such moments. • Novels of the past dealt either with classic objectivity, or accepted the subjective irrational but never clarified it. To write about human beings struggling for food is wonderful. But it is also necessary to become aware of our collective neurosis, to explore it, to seek to bring back into the world the one who has detached himself from it and is suffering from alienation. • "The best attack is to continue to work. To do better and better work, that is where to put my energy. I cannot make Trilling more subtle or more understanding." • "Be careful not to enter the world with any need to seduce, charm, conquer what you do not really want only for the sake of approval. • We project the unbearable self onto others, so that we can hate it in others and destroy it. • There is a game and play in the children's world which is a training ground for fantasy and imagination. When this is not killed in childhood it creates the artist and the inventor. • Anger is a prelude to power. • I look at writing as a natural, spontaneous thing, like a torrent. When I see a very meager stream, hesitations, difficulties, premeditations, preparations, and much talk, I know the source is poor. • The most important problem for the novelist is that each generation must create its own reality and its own language, its own images. Each one of us must re-create the world. • was Henry James himself who said that if you describe a house too completely, too concretely, objectively, solidly, in every detail, then it becomes impossible for the imagination to conceive of what might happen there. The character of the house overshadows events, creates its own associations with peripheral atmospheres (time, place, history, architecture). The reality of the house swallows the canvas and the storyteller. • Ultimate giving is fatal. I split, split, split, into a million small relationships. And I seek split beings. Divided beings. • It is not enough to be told that a poem is good, one must feel it is good without influence. • Mature people relate to each other without the need to merge. • Writing for me is not an art. There is no separation between my life and my craft, my work. The form of art is the form of art of my life, and my life is the form of the art. I refuse artificial patterns. Stories do not end. A point of view changes every moment. Reality changes. It is relative. • I must be willing to get lost before I am saved. It is only when I abandon myself that I am saved. • At other times we would meet downtown at Grand Street, in front of the shops selling wedding dresses. A surrealist setting, amidst grim, tall, inhuman buildings, dirty streets filled with broken bottles and garbage, with alcoholics sleeping in the doorways, in attitudes which seemed more like those of death. • There is a way of living which makes for greater airiness, space, ease, freedom. It is like an airplane's rise above the storms. It is a way of looking at obstacles as something to overcome; of looking at what defeats us as a monster created by ourselves, within ourselves, by our fears, and therefore dissolvable and transformable. • The dangerous time when mechanical voices, radios, telephones, take the place of human intimacies, and the concept of being in touch with millions brings a greater and greater poverty in intimacy and human vision. • "If you don't make a lot of money, and he does not make a lot of money, I don't see the sense of it." "There is some sense to it. I love to write. Some people love to read. We may have pleasure out of i Don't you have something you really love to do?" • But five o'clock is the fatal hour, end of work, beginning of awareness, when the buses are so full you cannot get on, when the taxis will not stop, when the subway is chokingly full, when everyone is running somewhere, when the lovers have chosen each other. • For me there is no perfection in my own life. Mine is a life of miserable complexity and unhappiness so that my writing is all that I can rely on. Only in it do I find release from my tensions. I have no life besides my language, at least no happy life. • I change every day, change my patterns, my concepts, my interpretations. I am a series of moods and sensations. I play a thousand roles. • My real self is unknown. My work is merely an essence of this vast and deep adventure. I create a myth and a legend, a lie, a fairy tale, a magical world, and one that collapses every day and makes me feel like going the way of Virginia Woolf. I have tried to be not neurotic, not romantic, not destructive, but may be all of these in disguises. • I wrote, lived, loved like Don Quixote, and on the day of my death I will say: "Excuse me, it was all a dream," and by that time I may have found one who will say: "Not at all, it was true, absolutely true." • In my person all my feelings are masked. I cannot speak through myself. I must speak in my writing. • And I realize most strongly every day that my only relief is one of writing, that if I ever find a human relationship it will have to come by way of writing, the words must create a path, the relation, the contact between myself and the human. • I shall destroy in my writing everyone I have ever loved, • cannot concentrate all my friendship on any single one of my friends because no one is complete enough in himself. • Why does everyone here believe that by all of us thinking of nothing else but the mechanics of living, of history, we will solve all problems? Sometimes one has to be away to think properly. • The beauty of the South, luxuriant and intoxicating. Smell of gardenias. New Orleans. Pungent food smells, of herbs and curry, jazz issuing from small cafés, people in the street, relaxed. • As the door of the plane opened, I felt the warm caressing air which immediately turns one into silk. • In a corner of the dining room, a Mexican woman in native dress made tortillas on a grill. The gestures of her hands as she moulded the paste were rhythmic and ritualistic. • The next morning, the sun seemed not only to cover everything with gold but to penetrate into my very body.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Dawn Garcia

    She is my inspiration and these are books I continually reference when I need to be reminded of why writing is my soul ...

  6. 4 out of 5

    Juliana

    Quotes: "Olga had given herself to a cause, a system: this system and cause had failed. While she gave herself, her own development on a deeper level was static. When the system failed (historically) there was never a question that it may have failed because it was composed of incompleted human beings, human beings who had cease to work on their individual development. And it is this development which I believe will influence history from within, rather than systems. If enough individuals had work Quotes: "Olga had given herself to a cause, a system: this system and cause had failed. While she gave herself, her own development on a deeper level was static. When the system failed (historically) there was never a question that it may have failed because it was composed of incompleted human beings, human beings who had cease to work on their individual development. And it is this development which I believe will influence history from within, rather than systems. If enough individuals had worked at their own development, history would be formed as natural things are formed, organically, from the impulse of quality and maturity." p9 "Every time our hope for a better world is based on a system, this system collapses, due to the corruptiblity and imperfection of human beings. I believe we have to go back and work at the growth of human beings, so they will not need systems, but will know how to rule themselves. Now you have suffered the shock of disillusion in an ideology which was betreayed its ideals. It is a good time to return to the creation of yourself, not as a blind number in a group, but as an individual. Poetry is merely the language of our highest-self, in which are embedded the seeds of all we do and are in the day. We can only control it by knowing it. Better to make this journey back to what you had first intended than to die of disillusion." p10 "At the same time, because he only has one life, the one he shares with the present, in history, because is not creating an antidote to the poisons of history, Gonzalo has no hope. He is crushed by events. He has no inner life to sustain and alchemize events." p19 "...a pleasure too long awaited is a pleasure lost" p? "The great beauty of my life is that I live out what others only dream about, talk about, analyze. I want to go on living the uncensored dream, the free unconscious." p62 (In response to a letter to Dali regarding his wearing a diving suit: "We could also wear a miners suit.") "The artist finds his way into the most secret, the deepest, and most unconscious self, where lies the real source of creation. Often I think of us as the Earth itself, full of hidden treasures, gold, precious stones, fire, metals or the of the riches at the bottom of the sea, all subterranean and having to brought to the surface." "You have not yest discovered that you have a lot to give, and that the more you give the more riches you will find in yourself... You must not fear, hold back, count or be a miser with your thoughts and feelings." p65 ... Why I can't draw during the school week: "It is also true that creation comes from an overflow, so you have to learn to intake, to inbibe, to nourish yourself and not be afraid of fullness. The fullness is like a tidal wave which then carries you, sweeps you into experience and into writing. Permit yourself to flow and overflow, allow for the rise in temperature, all the expansions and intensifications. Something is always born of excess; great art was born of great terrors, great loneliness, great inhibitions, instabilities, and it always balances them." p65 "It seems to you that I move in a world of certitudes, you, par contre, must benefit from the great privilege of youth, which is that you move in a world of mysteries. Both must be ruled by faith." p65 "dreams beget dreams" "...untransformed reality weighs heavily and oppresses the spirit, kills our hope that we may transform, alter, change, evolve. That is the proof of what the imagination can do which gives us our life, hope, joy." "I always maintained to Olga that a change of system would not cure mankind of war and greed. That the only solution was each man working upon himself, his individual discipline against hostility, prejudice and distortion of others, where the evil begins... Now she is disillusions...she said: "Anais, you were born with a deeper vision. You went into deeper worlds, and they have not failed you. You have found fundamental truths. I went into external worlds of action, and was betrayed by them. I have lost my faith. I have built nothing. All because of my fear of the inner world." "The secret of a full life is to live and relate to others as if they may not be there tomorrow, as if you might not be there tomorrow. It eliminates the vice of procrastination, the sin of postponement, failed communications, failed communions. This thought has made me more and more attentive to all encounters, meetings, introductions, which might contain the seed of depth that might be carelessly overlooked. This feeling has become a rarity, and rare every day no that we have reached a hastier and more superficial rhythm, now that we believe we are in touch with a greater amount of people, more more, more countries. This is the illusion which might cheat us of bein in touch deeply with the one breathing next to us. The dangerous time when mechanical voices, radios, telephones, take the place of human intimacies, and the concept of being in touch with millions brings a greater and greater poverty in intimacy and human vision." "Man has to be made whole again by passion and faith. Our faith has been displaced from the inner self to something outside of ourselves." "There is prejudice against subjectivity, because it is believed subjectivity is a narrowing of the vision. But this is no more true than to say objectivity leads to a larger form of life. Nothing leads to a vaster form of life but the capacity to move deeply inward as well as outward. What is important is neither subjectivity nor objectivity but mobility, aliveness, and interrelation between them and between all relationships. A man who lives unrelated to other human beings dies. But a man who lives unrelated to himself also dies."

  7. 5 out of 5

    cansu m

    "Strangely enough, I can forgive many things, many acts, many treacheries, many forms of selfishness, exploitation, anything except ugliness in the vision I call cynicism. I think the cynic is the one who projects his inner ugliness onto others. That one trait alienates me completely."

  8. 5 out of 5

    Vicky

    Highlights for me include when Anaïs Nin meets Maya Deren, Edmund Wilson, Gore Vidal. World War II ends. Nin's status as a temporary visitor in the U.S. expires or something, so since she can't go back to France (she doesn't state why), she will have to leave the country and come back as a permanent resident, and this volume ends with her on a road trip out west, then to Acapulco where she recalls the definition of "tropic" to mean "turning" and "changing" and that is where perhaps she will be r Highlights for me include when Anaïs Nin meets Maya Deren, Edmund Wilson, Gore Vidal. World War II ends. Nin's status as a temporary visitor in the U.S. expires or something, so since she can't go back to France (she doesn't state why), she will have to leave the country and come back as a permanent resident, and this volume ends with her on a road trip out west, then to Acapulco where she recalls the definition of "tropic" to mean "turning" and "changing" and that is where perhaps she will be reborn. There is this part where Nin and friends are working for Maya Deren's film and someone brings Cokes and hot dogs. Nin is eating a hot dog and someone tells her, "It does not seem right to see you eat hot dogs" and in the diary, Nin writes, "Damn the legend!" (mystification of her) and then, "I was having a carefree time and that remark annoyed me." I thought it was hilarious. I looked at Nin's face on the front cover and could see why it would be hard to imagine her eating a hot dog and drinking a Coke. Then there is this other part where Anaïs Nin has just published Ladders to Fire and she is touring colleges to give readings and lectures, feeling exhausted but learning to parry criticisms and intellectualizations of her work. She is having dinner and champagne with James Merrill and Kendall (I think) and they're having such a good time that no one really notices when one of them says they smell smoke until Merrill opens a door and sees all this smoke. He's like, Anaïs you call the firemen! I need to collect my manuscripts! So Anaïs calls the fire dept and because of her slight French accent, they believe she's prank calling them! Plus she's had champagne so she passes the phone to Merrill and they laugh at how it all seems like a publicity stunt—to set the house on fire so that they can escape down ladders to promote her book, Ladders to Fire: #LOL but anyhow, it turns out to be some woman downstairs who left her cake in the oven for too long. I checked out three videos of Anaïs Nin on YouTube after reading the part when she describes hearing her voice played back for the first time, with her accent, tremor, and in one of the videos in which Nin is so calm-looking in a kimono, stirring her cup of coffee, she mentioned that in the fifth volume of the diary—and this is coming from a feminine softly-speaking woman who only moderately drinks and never does drugs—she describes her experience taking LSD and how her entire body was made of gold! I can't wait to read this in the next volume.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Shayda

    The question of how to evaluate the later volumes of the Diary really comes up for me with this one. The editing brings in a host of friends and acquaintances, but Nin's relationships with them seem attenuated (and all of these original volumes were heavily edited, so far as I know). Nin's harping on the value of youth, because of its interest in the new, sounds self-serving at times (she was struggling to keep her fiction in print and to have it understood). The book description really overstat The question of how to evaluate the later volumes of the Diary really comes up for me with this one. The editing brings in a host of friends and acquaintances, but Nin's relationships with them seem attenuated (and all of these original volumes were heavily edited, so far as I know). Nin's harping on the value of youth, because of its interest in the new, sounds self-serving at times (she was struggling to keep her fiction in print and to have it understood). The book description really overstates the prominence of the car trip across the U.S. - it's by far the smallest portion.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Jeanette

    My notes said, Hard to het into but worth it. It had a dreamy quality. Bohemian idealism. P122 "But it is also necessary to become aware of our collective neurosis, to explore it, to seek to bring back into the world the one who has detached himself from it and is suffering from." p143 "I am still in the labyrinth, and I must be willing to get lost before I am saved." p183 "Announce your presence like a bell, Not loud, but echoing its softness."

  11. 4 out of 5

    Ashlyn

    In Acapulco - "We may seem to forget a person, a place, a state of being, a past life, but meanwhile what we are doing is selecting a new cast for the reproduction fo the same drama. And one day will I open my eyes in this beautiful, overwhelming place and see that I am caught in the same pattern, repeating the same story? I remembered that the definition of tropic was "turning," changing. and I felt a new woman would be born here."

  12. 5 out of 5

    Elizabeth Click

    Leerla hace en mi un efecto fascinante! Despierta en mi el "Yo" más básico, el más artístico, el más femenino, el más primitivo. Sus ideas tan llenas de sensualidad mística me cautivan. ¡Me reconfirma! Continúo con el siguiente diario.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Ashley Harbison

    Ditto

  14. 4 out of 5

    Ana

    3.5

  15. 5 out of 5

    Noc Vvyne

    It was a heavy book and the first book of 2016 I have completed. I will be getting vol. 1 because of Artaud. Notes have been made and recorded on this book.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Ciara

    more anais nin diaries. maybe this is the one where she & her friend gonzalo set up their own printing press? i think so. it doesn't work out so well.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Angela Yang

    Wonderful and important and very relevant.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Aaron Gallardo

    Anaïs Nin es humana y quimera.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Charity Finnestad

    Her series of six diaries are some of my favorite books of all time.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Elise Ashby

    Excellent. More mature than her earlier volumes and liberatingly healthy rather than brooding in it's self-analysis. Particularly insightful in the patterns of relationships people form.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Eva Triay

    "A new women will born..."

  22. 5 out of 5

    Emma

  23. 4 out of 5

    Ugnė

  24. 5 out of 5

    Alex

  25. 4 out of 5

    Randi Young

  26. 5 out of 5

    Liv

  27. 5 out of 5

    starryj13

  28. 5 out of 5

    Mammabird

  29. 5 out of 5

    Juli Fowler

  30. 5 out of 5

    Jennifer

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